Disentangling Preferences

I have preferences.

You have preferences.

The people we lead and serve have preferences.

That is not good or bad, it just is.

But often we don’t realize how significantly our preferences shape what we desire until something doesn’t go the way of our, well, preferences.

Whether it is over song, style, volume, liturgy, or aesthetic, how might we avoid starting another ‘worship war’ in our own churches? Here are a few things to consider:

Acknowledge that we all have preferences. You, me, our team, our church, our leaders - we can celebrate, honor, and acknowledge without being dismissive or condescending towards those preferences which are different.

Realize that no one is neutral. All of us have been shaped in our lives and faith by countless influences - these are places of deep memory and impact.

Develop a philosophy of worship. Our corporate gatherings matter, and we should take seriously the songs we sing and the way our gatherings form our people. That is why I want every aspect of the gathering to be intentionally shaped. But an unexpected benefit of intentionality is that it allows us to articulate a deeper truth to our people if/when there is pushback. Why do we do the things that we do? Our own leadership will be easily swayed if there isn’t something of significance anchoring the decisions we make on and off the platform.

Use preferences as an opportunity to fight for greater unity. We can consider one another more highly than we consider ourselves when we choose to die to our preferences, for the sake of a brother or sisters preference.

Identify my own preferences. More than just acknowledging that preferences exist - what are my preferences? If I was the only person I needed to consider, how would that shape the liturgy and flow of a service I built? How would it impact the style of songs - and the specific songs I choose? What elements would I include weekly? This is an exercise I need to do regularly so that I am able to disentangle my preferences from Gospel. To help me appreciate that I am a servant to the Lord and His people in a specific context, at a specific place in time. My job is not to make little versions of myself - to enforce my own preferences on a people. My job is not to make people more like themselves - to allow their preferences to dictate all that we do. No, my job is to help create a space where people can become more like Jesus.

What would you add?

Advent, Christmas, & Corporate Worship

It’s the most wonderful time of the year… Unless you’re a worship leader trying to figure out how to incorporate Christmas carols into weekly services, balance people’s desires and expectations for this season, organize, plan and lead special services and events, and still prepare room for Christ in your own heart.

Truthfully, I have not always been a huge lover of Christmas Carols. It felt like an interruption to the regularly scheduled programming of worship songs and setlists. These songs were so familiar, not just to me, but to the culture as a whole - even those who have no faith background or belief. We hear them overhead in the grocery store, on commercials, and in television shows, and inescapably from our most festive friends and family. But the longer I have been leading worship, and the deeper I grow in my faith, the more I have come to treasure this Advent and Christmas season we celebrate every year. So if like me, Christmas planning can make you cringe, here are some things that have been helpful for me in recent years:

Adjust your understanding of Christmas carols. Somehow in my mind, carols occupied a different place that Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs… They were something other. But many songs (not all) which have stood the test of generations have done so for good reason - rich, dense, beautiful, poetic language, and theology. Ask the Spirit to give you fresh eyes to see these familiar lyrics anew. To sing like the words are true because they are. Sing like Christ has come and is coming again because He is.

Acknowledge expectations. Corporate sung worship brings out expectations - both spoken and unspoken - in a unique way for the gathered Church. When songs, styles and seasons carry such personal meaning and memory for people, it can further complicate an already difficult tension. Acknowledge the fact that people - yourself included - have expectations, desires, and preferences. Decide how to respond graciously regardless of the way someone has expressed their preferences. Choose to die to yourself, your preferences, and your desires as an act of worship to God and service to the people you lead.

Balance new with the familiar. Teaching brand new Christmas songs, or even retuned versions of familiar classics can be difficult given the short window of time for the Christmas and Advent season. And the fact those songs are only pulled out once a year some 45-weeks later.

Creating a setlist that incorporates new Christmas songs as a song of reflection or a Welcome and Calls to Worship, surrounding familiar carols and normal worship songs is a great way to balance the need for familiarity, and freshness at the same time.

Read the Gospel accounts of the life of Christ as you prepare for leading worship over the Christmas season. Let your heart be softened and broken open to the weight and wonder of God with us. Read the lyrics to these Christmas carols that can be so familiar in our mouths, they have lost the impact in our hearts and minds. Pray with gratitude and expectancy as we prepare to lead people not only to look back and remember the first Advent of Christ but His second Advent as well.

Celebrate, remember, respond and worship.