‘We are more divided at this moment than at any point in history…’ How often have we heard this or some similar refrain over the past number of years?Politics, racial justice, COVID-19, are just a handful of things which have exposed our deeply held beliefs. And divided not just our nation, but our churches and families.
Jesus prayed for us, that as His followers we would be one, as He and the Father are one (Jn 17:21). He said that the world would know us by our love for one another (Jn 13:35). Love and oneness require considering another over ourselves. We never drift toward oneness. Love does not grow without sacrifice. Working for and toward unity is an intentional, daily, ongoing work, until one day when Jesus returns and all of His followers will be one, and will love one another as He intends.
Specifically as worship leaders, there are many opportunities for disunity:
with your pastor, elders, or leaders about the length of sung worship, or how to structure a service,
with the musicians and vocalists over parts and responsibilities,
with sound and tech people over execution of the corporate gathering,
with children’s ministry volunteers for running too long, or too loud,
and with the congregation over songs and style
just to name a few!
So how do we navigate a fallen world, broken relationships, and our own sin as we desire to become the unified, loving Body that Christ has called us to be?
An obvious, yet critical answer: Pray. “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Eph 6:12). When we recognize that this is a spiritual work, we must also recognize, apart from a work of the Holy Spirit, we are incapable of becoming unified and loving - sharing the same heart and mind with our brothers and sisters. Pray often. Pray with those whom you desire unity. Pray for your heart, and the hearts of those you serve alongside.
Die to yourself. This is the work of every follower of Christ - dying to ourselves daily, taking up the cross, and following Jesus. Some hills are worth dying on, others are not worth losing - or splintering unity with - a brother or sister. When we mistake personal preference for gospel issues we do not model the self-giving, self-surrendering love of Christ.
Name and clarify expectations. There is truth to the saying, unnamed expectations are resentments waiting to happen. It may take time to surface subconscious expectations you hold for your relationships, but once they begin to surface you can start to ask yourself: are these expectations reasonable? How do we need to solidify and clarify expectations for this relationship? Are there things in your relationships which need to be acknowledged, forgiven? What needs to be swallowed up by an ocean of grace?
Check in regularly. Once you have named and clarified expectations, checking in regularly is essential - are we okay? Are these expectations reasonable? How do these expectations need to shift and change over time, as the relationship changes? I have found knowing people and being in relationship with them outside of a shared common task enables understanding, familiarity, and empathy.
Be honest. Being honest and being brutal are not the same thing. Honest conversations are truthful, soaked in grace, and motivated by love. Honesty in relationship will help you keep short accounts. It can uproot bitterness before it has the opportunity to take hold. Be honest, and learn to invite and receive honest conversation.
Relationships, location, seasons of life and ministry are not obstacles to becoming more unified and loving, they are the means by which God uses to conform us to the image of His Son. The One who prayed that we would be one, that we would be known by our love. So don’t fight these gifts, embrace these gifts.