Questions of identity haunt the Christian and the non-Christian alike. I remember hearing Bono give an interview where he quipped that those who felt secure and received all they needed in childhood don’t find it necessary to stand on a stage with people screaming for you night after night. Very few people will find the level of attention and notoriety that has been true of U2 for the last four decades, but isn’t the longing the same? Do we not all desire to be seen, known, and celebrated? Do we not all desire to have work that feels fulfilling, that contributes meaningfully to the world, and that will outlast our time on earth? Don’t we all desire to feel that our identity is secure?
For followers of Jesus, Scripture assures us: “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” - Colossians 3:3
As people who are prone to forget, what good news! What a comfort that our lives and identity are secure in, with, and because of Christ - not because of anything we have done or anything we have failed to do.
Although I do not believe that worship leaders struggle with questions of identity any more than others perhaps a complicating reality is the visibility of our role. People often believe they know us when really they know about us. And because our gifts are often exercised in such public ways, it can be easy for people to believe that we are our gifts. It can be easy for us to believe that we are our gifts. All of this can coalesce into an identity built on perception, built on things seen - rather than the hidden life, rooted in Jesus.
When my identity is built on my talent, I am left without value when my skill plateaus or fades. When my identity is built on being the best, I am scared of the gifts of others. When my identity is built on the praise of people, I will continually be chasing their admiration. To build an identity on anything apart from Christ is laying a foundation on sinking, shifting sand.
In my opinion, few contemporary writers have been able to articulate the trues (and the lies) of identity better than Henri Nouwen. So to wrap up this post, I wanted to leave with you a handful of my favorite quotes from Nouwen on identity:
The five lies of identity:
I am what I have.
I am what I do.
I am what other people say or think about me.
I am nothing more than my worst moment.
I am nothing less than my best moment.
Spiritual identity means we are not what we do or what people say about us. And we are not what we have. We are beloved daughters and sons of God.
To the degree that we embrace the truth that our identity is not rooted in our success, power, or popularity, but in God's infinite love, to that degree can we let go of our need to judge.