Receiving Criticism

Receiving criticism is hard. Whether you have requested feedback, or someone walks up to you after a service and lets fly all the things they don’t like about you and what you’re doing. Because of the corporate nature of sung corporate worship, there is a sense of ownership among our congregations - this is our thing. And so it is not unusual for people to express their opinions, frustrations, and objections about sung worship. Whether that is style of the music, song choice, volume, liturgical elements, who are serving, what they are wearing, how they are leading, and any host of other points of tension.

When it comes to receiving criticism, I think it is important to note the difference between grumbling and complaining, and criticism. Although they may be presented in a similar way, I think of criticism, as ultimately, and hopefully helping to clarify who we are, what we do, and why we do it. Criticism, can help us grow if we are willing to receive it prayerfully.

One of the hardest things to do when receiving criticism - at least for me - is to pause long enough to pray, rather than attempting to verbally fire back. I need the words of the Psalmist to be my prayer “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141:3). Our first words need to be toward God, before they are in reaction or response to the person being critical.

Second, we need to receive criticism with humility. Again, this is so hard - Don’t you know how long I’ve spent preparing for this weekend? There are ins and outs of this area of ministry you could know nothing about! I have read more, rehearsed more, and spent more time growing my knowledge and understanding of sung worship than you! Who do you think you are to say this to me? All of these things reactions and more surface easily and quickly for me when receiving criticism. What an exposure of my own prideful heart!

Finally, I think it is so important that we have a philosophy of worship. We need to have convictions, about why we do what we do. We need to be able to articulate those convictions to the people on our team, as well as our congregations. But our convictions as well are something we need to hold with humility lest we become rigid, and critical ourselves.

The good news for worship leaders as we receive criticism, just like everyone, our identity is not in what we do - but in Christ.

Grumbling and Complaining

People can be hard.

Ministry can be hard.

And there is something about corporate sung worship that feels personal to those within a church community. Congregations have ownership of songs and singing in unique ways - more so than maybe any other area of ministry. Because of this, songs and singing can often feel precious to the people and can feel tied to people’s experience of God, His Church, and worship.

So how do we deal with grumbling and complaining from the congregation?

Or our team?

Listen. I love how Tim Keller talks about listening for a kernel of truth, even in harsh critique or criticism that seems unfair. What is really being said? Is there a thing under the thing? How can we make sure that people feel heard, rather than ignored or disregarded?

Learn. We must learn our people and context. Is there a history for which we are unaware? Have we inadvertently or carelessly stepped over a line or triggered something? We must be willing to admit that we don’t know everything and that in seeking to lead and serve the people of God our posture must be one of humility and teachability.

Communicate. Some of the best advice I was ever given was - you have thought deeply about what you’re doing and why, you have to help your team see the thought process. In a spirit of humility and gentleness, we must be able to clearly articulate the reason for our decisions. Have you thought deeply about what you are doing and why? Have you taken the time to ‘show your work,’ and lead people through a process of understanding?

Love. Let even the painful interactions be an invitation toward dependence upon the Holy Spirit for the grace necessary to love. To lean away from your own strength and toward the strength and grace of Christ. How might God be using people from your congregation or team to keep you humble and tender? How can you watch over your own heart to not respond in kind? How might you see this person the way that Christ sees them?