Whether as a volunteer or as a paid staff member - ministry is not for the faint of heart. It can be easy to become discouraged. It can be easy to work for God without spending time with God. It can be easy to have our time become consumed with pursuing excellence in our preparation, to the neglect of other God-given responsibilities. And if you feel called to some kind of ministry, it can be tempting to see others as an obstacle, rather than co-laborers in serving together on mission.
Whether you are living at home with your parents, are married, or single, or have children, a calling to ministry is not an individual call as much as it is a communal, familial call. I have found Pete Scazzero’s language to this end helpful when he talks about how we lead ‘out of our marriage or singleness.’
And if it is true that we minister out of our marriage or singleness, how should that reality shape the way we lead? I am learning that this idea means we do not lead and serve apart from our family but from our family. We lead as a missional representative of the family to which we belong. What is more, if this is true for those of us charged with carrying the responsibilities for a team, it is true for each person serving on our team as well.
Here are some of the rhythms I am trying to incorporate as I consider what it looks like to lead out of my family, and encourage my team to do the same:
Thank families, not just individuals. We often think that the individual is having to sacrifice their time to serve - this is true, but it is also a sacrifice for the family. Less time with a spouse, or children with their parent. It may mean driving separately, coming early, sitting by yourself, or solo-parenting. This is not just a sacrifice of the team member, but their family unit.
Involve the kids. I like to strike the stage every week. If and when possible, my kids love to help me wrap cables, clean up trash, and carry equipment on and off the platform. This is a simple way for them to feel a part of what we do as a family. And I hope and pray this is the way they will come to see ministry in the future.
Prepare at home. This is a great way to involve our families in what we are doing, and why we are doing it. My kids love to sing and practice with me for a Sunday - they will get out all of their instruments and play along as I sing through the setlist.
Use your home. Whether for team meetings, training, or discipleship - our homes can be a great place to show hospitality, but they can also be a great way for our families to be able to participate with us - in the preparation of cleaning, cooking, and hosting, as well engaging face-to-face with those we serve alongside.
Thank your family. I want to be aware that I am able to do what I do because my wife encourages and enables it. I can do what I do because my kids are willing to give up time with their Dad - this is not my thing, it is our thing, and they deserve credit and appreciation for the sacrifices made as we serve together on mission.
Lead from your family, not apart from your family. And encourage your team to do the same.